Insults

one of my favourites..

When Insults Had Class:

"He has all the virtues I dislike
and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but
I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word
that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner
(about Ernest Hemingway)


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.
But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx


"I didn't attend the funeral,
but I sent a nice letter saying
I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain


"He has no enemies,
but is intensely
disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to
the first night of my new play;
bring a friend...
If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to
Winston Churchill...
followed by Churchill's response:


"Cannot possibly attend first night,
will attend second, if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill


"I feel so miserable without you;
it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man
and worships his creator."
-- John Bright


"I've just learned about his illness.
Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself;
he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver
looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating


"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr


"Why do you sit there
looking like an envelope
without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away
and kept the stork.
-- Mae West


"Some cause happiness
wherever they go;
others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde


Lady Astor once remarked to
Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
"Winston, if you were my husband,
I would poison your coffee!"

Winston replied,
"Madam, if I were your husband,
I would drink it!"